留學申請寫好SOP? 請聽美國名校評審委員怎麼說? 所有連結都已經更新可以下載了。

                            他山之石，可以攻錯

經同學來信要求，教練再度上傳留學申請的這篇文章。現在部落格這個版面，比較不像過去會列出文章記錄， 大家要點開「標籤」去找才找得到。希望下面的內容對需要的同學有幫助。


又到了申請學校的旺季，經常有同學來詢問SOP該怎麼寫？教練提供的這篇文章，提供有需要的同學下載。請下載並參考這些名校錄取範本。這次再加上商學院申請範本。這些都只是參考範文罷了，不代表一定是最棒的。SOP要按照自己的規畫與需求來寫，大家可以看看別人的寫法，再想想自己的該怎麼寫。如果需要英文履歷English Resume，也可以參考教練寫過的版本。另外想要下載求職三寶請點我。

What makes a good statement of purpose for graduate school?

下載SOP名校錄取生範本請點我

新增商學院SOP參考範文請點我

申請美國大學最重要的文件排序

1. 托福成績 (破百真的比較好申請到不錯的學校，美國前50大名校托福要超過100)
    其中某些特定科系會特別重視寫作與口說的成績。

2. GPA(非常重要，越好的學校越重視)

3. GRE與GMAT成績 (成績儘量考高一點，才有機會進排名好的學校)

4. SOP /CV/ Biography (爛英文或是不知所云的自傳，會讓你馬上被審核委員剔除)

5. Recommendation Letters (除非幫你寫推薦函的人是總統、財團大亨或諾貝爾獎得主，若非大咖就不用指望了，當然還是要交，不過就是形式罷了。)

我對大多同學寫SOP的意見，真的跟下面三所名校的admissions officials一樣。
之前我也曾擔任過U of Michigan(我的母校)系上的研究生申請審核的委員
committee member之一，所以對於美國名校挑學生的過程可說是再熟悉不過，在此要奉勸同學，寫SOP有幾個原則一定要遵守:

1.不要一直往自己臉上貼金。說真的，你的程度如何，考試的成績與相關分數會說明。

2. SOP不是回憶錄，童年際遇點到為止，別寫得落落長，沒人有時間消化。

3.不要賣弄幽默感，這樣會給人輕浮的感覺。

4.所有內容都要跟未來的研究領域相關，不相關的不要寫。

5.教育背景要交待清楚，訊息宜言簡意賅。

6.文法正確，結構嚴謹，內容清楚，這是基本要件。

7.不要抄襲，否則是零分，範本參考就好。

8.對於所申請的學校要有一定了解，不要亂投一通，或是一稿多投(真要一稿多投也請稍微調整或是修飾一下內容)。申請博士班的學生，更要對自己的研究領域與相關學校的教授科系資源等有一定的認識。

9.請說重點。

10. 第一段的內容就要引人入勝，直接切入正題不要繞來繞去。

接下來且聽聽來自哈佛，NYU紐約大學與耶魯大學的admissions officials怎麼說。
紅字是我節錄的翻譯，僅提供同學參考，大家還是要看一下英文的版本。
此文分為上下兩部分，Part I & Part II

Part I

David P. Giovanella (DG), New York University, Graduate School of Arts & Science, Graduate Enrollment Services - The statement of purpose is one of the most important parts, if not the most important part, of the application.

SOP是申請入學時最重要的文件之一

Gregg Glover (GG), Associate Director of Admissions, Harvard Graduate School of Education - For our process at HGSE, it is very important. We often announce that it's the most important single item in an applicant's application. The essay can make or break a person's chances for admission, which is probably true at most schools. We are not test score driven in our process, so the statement takes on much more weight. Remember, the statement is the only part of the process that you have complete control over: you cannot change your GPA, or create the content of your letters of reference, but you can determine the finished product of your statement.

SOP是最重要的文件，這篇文章幾乎是決定這個學生是否能被獲准入學的關鍵項目之一，不只是哈佛如此，其他學府也一樣。哈佛不是一個只在乎考試成績的學校，所以SOP的比重可想而知。大家不要忘記，所有的申請文件中，SOP是申請人唯一能控制與處理的文件，因為你的GPA無法被改變，介紹信的內容，決定權不在你，你唯一可以主導的，是SOP的內容。

Dr. Liza Cariaga-Lo (LCL), Assistant Dean, Yale Graduate School of Arts and Sciences - The personal statement is very important, as it is often (in cases where there is no interview requirement) the only opportunity for the student to share information about themselves that they think is relevant to their pursuit of graduate study.

SOP非常重要，尤其在沒有面試的狀況之之下，你的SOP提供了一個讓學校認識你的方式。透過SOP申請人得以分享跟自己有關的訊息，並且藉此提供當事人申請研究所意願背後的動機。

好的SOP應該要具備哪些條件?

1.
DG - NYU: It should be typed. 請打字
The applicant should outline their goals and aspirations. Present information chronologically, and show your writing skills and style.

請明確說明研究目標與展望，請按時間順序來提供訊息，另外好好展現你英文寫作的文采。

GG - Harvard: The statement of purpose should demonstrate excellence in writing and clarity of thinking. It functions as a writing sample, often the only one you submit. Make it as solid a piece of writing as possible. It can also function as your interview if none is required. It is a chance to introduce yourself and describe who you are, what your background is, and what is important to you.

SOP講求的是一流的寫作功力。對admission officers而言，SOP是展示申請者文筆與思維的一個方式。內容要具體明確，請將SOP想像成是一個訪談(如果你的申請過程中，學校無法安排一對一的面談)這是你介紹自己語描述自己的最佳機會，請介紹你的背景與你認為重要的觀點。

Perhaps more importantly, the statement is an opportunity for an applicant to describe his or her purpose in pursuing graduate study. Why this school, and/or this specific program? What are your reasons for graduate study? What is your plan in pursuing this degree? In the statement we look to see how well the candidate knows the school and justifies their reasons for studying there.

Another way to think about it is to consider "focus and fit": are your interests in graduate study focused, and is there a good fit with your interests and the particular program or school? This requires carefully researching the school or program to which you are applying. Read about the program's emphasis, the nature of the required courses, the work or research of its faculty. The more you know about the program to which you are applying, the better. You will sound more knowledgeable and more convincing in your essay.

另外更重要的是，你得透過SOP去解釋你為何要申請某個學校?你的理由與計畫是什麼?受理申請的學校通常會透過SOP，看看申請者對這個特定學校的了解有多少?你將如何將興趣與研究內容作完美的結合?想要回答這樣的問題，你必須先了解所申請的學校，提供何種研究計畫，需要深入了解才答得出來，千萬別呼攏人。你對所申請的學校與教授越是了解，你的SOP就越有說服力。


Admissions committees at our school are trying to determine what the school or specific program can offer to the applicant, and what the applicant can potentially offer in return. It's a two way street: do we have what the applicant wants and needs? If admitted , how will this person contribute to our community? The essay allows you to express this. We also look for an applicant's commitment to the field of education, and the statement of purpose is an excellent place for an applicant to describe what fuels that commitment and where the source of his or her passions lie.

所以申請學校是個two- way process，申請者在找合適的學校，學校也在找合適的申請人。這跟找工作沒什麼兩樣。所以站在學校的考量，他們也會去思考，這樣的學生來我們的學校能提供我們什麼？所以請務必在SOP裡面提到這一點。告訴你要申請的學校，他們為什麼要選擇你，而不是別人?你有什麼是別人沒有的。(好比男生跟女生求婚一樣，為什麼對方要嫁給你不是嫁給別人哩?)

For essays to research-based doctoral programs, it's important to remember the following issues: Have you clearly articulated your potential research interests? Have you determined if the particular department, or specific faculty members in it, can support your research? We prefer that our doctoral applicants identify potential faculty with whom they might work to produce the dissertation. This requires you to carefully research the scholarly interests of the faculty and to clearly think through your own research ideas. You do not have to identify your specific dissertation questions.

對於申請博士班與一些特定研究計畫的學生而言，要特別注意下面幾個議題:

1. 請問你有清楚的將自己未來的研究興趣表達出來嗎?
2. 你有表明某個特定學校的科系或是教授能夠幫助你，支持你完成這個研究計畫嗎?
3. 最好點名某某教授，指名要跟他學習，(因為這代表你得先做功課，先去了解某個教授的研究領域或是某個學校的科系強項與你自己的目標是否一致)
4. 不過對於博士論文相關的問題，在申請階段不需要表明。

LCL - Yale: The goal of the statement of purpose is to provide (concisely, thoughtfully and in a well-organized, easy to read format) information about the student's path to pursuing graduate study in this particular field. The statement should cover the following areas: (1) his/her motivation for applying to graduate school, (2) relevant experiences and academic coursework that have prepared him/her for graduate study in the field, (3) characteristics and strengths that make him/her particularly well-suited to graduate study in the discipline and within the graduate program he/she is applying to, (4) academic plan for graduate study, (5) future career objectives.

SOP不可或缺的要素:

精簡 完整 流暢 好讀

內容請包含

1. 申請動機
2. 相關學術經驗(相關工作經驗也可以- 這是Chloe補充的)
3. 你為何會是理想人選?(請說服admission officers)
4. 研究的計畫
5. 未來就業的計畫與勾勒的藍圖

What would you consider red flags?

請問哪些是SOP的大忌?

DG - NYU: It's a red flag when the statement is not typed, not well thought out, or an edited statement designed for another school.
         
手寫的SOP(沒打字的)，組織與內容凌亂草率，或是明顯的一稿多投(一看就知道同一份拿去投另一份學校的)。


GG - Harvard: Poor grammar and usage in an essay certainly signal a red flag to admissions committees, as does an inappropriate fit with program. It's not a good sign if the applicant demonstrates little knowledge of program or school, or worse, names another school in the essay by mistake! Presentation matters: have others read the essay for grammar and ideas.
Similarly, if an applicant demonstrates a lack of relevant experience, sounds naïve, inexperienced, or unfocused and unprepared for graduate study in an essay, it can hinder his or her application. For doctoral essays, poor articulation of research interests can also hurt an applicant's chances.

文法錯誤百出的通常就是警訊。

不會被錄取的申請者

申請者需求跟學校所能提供的研究方向不符
對於所申請的學校了解不多
在SOP裡面提到的是另外一個學校的校名的，這更是大忌!
缺乏相關經驗
語氣一派天真無邪
缺乏重點
感覺上沒準備好
申請博士班的，要將研究範圍與相關主題明確表達，不然可能不會被錄取
LCL - Yale: Too much personal information that is not directly relevant to why you want to pursue graduate study in a discipline area (e.g., lengthy stories about your childhood), unexplained gaps in a student's educational pathway, and demonstrated lack of understanding about a particular field or the program/institution you are applying to (e.g., making naive or erroneous remarks regarding research) are all red flags.

1. 過多的個人資訊，少提及研究的領域與興趣的，這不是好的SOP.
2. 太長的SOP不討喜，一直在提童年際遇的不明智(除非跟所學相關，就算相關
3. 也要懂得適可而止)
4. 另外求學的過程要按年代一一解釋，中間不能有落掉的(是休學了還是怎樣?)，
5. 記得不完整記錄的，會影響錄取機會
6. 對於申請的科系 學科或是學校了解不夠的，不會被錄取(如在文中對欲申請的學校
7. 提出一些不正確看法的，也是大忌!

Part II 
(請大家看英文原版的，紅字是問題，黑字是答案)

Our three admissions experts from Harvard, NYU, and Yale return to offer additional insight into what should and should not be a part of your statement of purpose.

How should an applicant deal with discrepancies in their record (grades, test scores, etc.)?

在校或是考試成績表現不一致該怎麼處理？

David P. Giovanella (DG), New York University, Graduate School of Arts & Science, Graduate Enrollment Services:

Applicants should either include this in the personal statement or add an amendment paragraph briefly describing the situation.

Gregg Glover (GG), Associate Director of Admissions, Harvard Graduate School of Education:

The statement of purpose can be a useful place to discuss discrepancies in your record if no other appropriate place in the application exists to do so. For example, one can explain further why a GPA declined one year due to a severe personal hardship. While some applications provide a separate space for such explanations, the statement provides the opportunity to elaborate on specific situations if they are relevant.

Try not to leave any doubts or questions in the minds of the admissions committee. Admissions committees are, at some level, trying to determine if the applicant will succeed, and hopefully thrive, in their program, and the statement can allow you the chance to present your case most accurately and fairly. But do not dwell on discrepancies, either.

Dr. Liza Cariaga-Lo (LCL), Assistant Dean, Yale Graduate School of Arts and Sciences:

You should mention any discrepancies in your academic record briefly (1-3 sentences) and perhaps provide an explanation of the circumstances as to why this happened and how you have addressed these issues. You may wish to ask one of your recommenders to briefly provide some explanation as to why there are issues in your record.

Are there any special topics that should be covered in the statement of purpose?

SOP裡面還要包含什麼特別的主題嗎？

DG:
Applicants should discuss educational objectives, career plans, how their past experience contributed to future goals, why the particular program interested them, and how they will relate to the program. The applicant should show that she/he has researched the program.

LCL:
You should definitely discuss your specific research interests in the program you are applying to and how your interests match with the interests of faculty and or resources that the particular program has to offer. You should include a brief discussion of relevant research experiences which have allowed you to clarify your educational and career objectives in the field, as well as your understanding of the current relevant research literature in your field.
Also, clearly explain your career objectives and what you hope to accomplish once you receive a PhD. These objectives should be realistic and well-informed, not idealistic and vague.

What should you not include in the statement? 

請問SOP裡面有什麼是不能寫的?

DG: The applicant should not repeat him or herself, be grandiose不要自讚自誇, or be too long.

GG: It is not wise to include irrelevant or excessive personal information, or to try to be overly humorous不要自以為幽默. Also, the essay should always keep to the required length.

LCL: If you are applying to PhD programs, you should not spend a lot of time describing your extracurricular and/or volunteer activities unless it is directly relevant to the PhD program of study you are applying to. PhD admissions committees are interested in whether or not you have the ability to become an outstanding scholar in the field and whether or not you are a good fit with the academic environment and resources offered within their program.

 How personal should you get? 

關於自我描述的部分可以寫到什麼程度?

DG: This is up to the individual applicant.

GG: It's acceptable to offer insights to an admissions committee about who you are and what is important to you, or what is driving your desire for graduate study. At our school, the reasons for pursuing programs in education can often be personal ones, derived from an applicant's personal or professional experiences. It is fine to describe these, and sometimes powerful to do so. An applicant may benefit by describing one's "passion," but only in a context that is relevant to the proposed graduate study.

One shouldn't, however, get too personal or offer too much biography in the statement. For example, four pages of biography in a five-page essay are too much長達四五頁的自我介紹真的太多了! Do not include a laundry list of activities or repeat one's resume. Include the resume instead如果個人經驗實在太豐富，請列一份履歷出來就好(條列式的，別把SOP當自傳來寫), and highlight an important experience or two. I would only include personal information that is 1) relevant and 2) compelling and important to one's desire for graduate study. Personal information should not outweigh a discussion of an applicant's plan or reasons for graduate study in an essay. Remember, writing essays for graduate applications is about making choices -- what to include, what to highlight, what to elaborate upon.

LCL: Do not spend a lot of time talking about your personal life story; and mention it only briefly if it's relevant to your motivation for graduate study.