大學畢業生必勝的4個守則 - 培養實力、體驗失敗、樂意付出與了解自我。紐約時報的好文值得細讀。教練都幫你把單字查好了。

gif - Giphy
kick ass 和 kiss ass意思不一樣喔
kick ass有表現優異,令人激賞的意思如:That presentation was totally kick ass!
kiss ass則是有阿諛拍罵馬屁的意思
如:Jack is an ass-kisser, stay away from him!

這篇文章作者是知名美國大學教授Arthur C Brooks,在紐約時報 The New York Times的論壇所寫的大學畢業生四個守則。教練認為此文的觀點懇切,英文筆法俐落且充滿幽默感。大家務必反覆精讀,把一些喜歡的句子背起來都沒關係


1. Earn everything  

2. Fail well 

3. Fight for others 
當一個樂意為他人付出,具有同理心的好青年 (奉獻賦予生命意義,所以不要斤斤計較,能者多勞是特權也是一種榮譽)。

4. Think for yourself 

From the New York Times
The Opinion Pages

by Arthur C. Brooks 

COMMENCEMENT season 畢業季 is upon us again. In a tenuous economic recovery脆弱無力的經濟復甦, many of the 1.6 million graduates at American colleges and universities will be listening intently for a bit of practical wisdom from their commencement speakers.
My own graduation was devoid of(缺乏/匱乏) this rite完全沒歷經這些儀式. I dropped out of college at 19 and spent my 20s as a traveling musician. I finally finished my degree by correspondence透過函授的方式念完大學 just before my 30th birthday. On graduation day, instead of marching across a stage上台領畢業證書, I marched out to the mailbox to pick up my diploma. My commencement address was a reminder, muttered嘀咕 to myself, to take my car in for inspection.
In the years that followed, after a great deal of traditional graduate school, I became a university professor. Between delivering a few commencement addresses and listening to many more, here is what I believe graduates need to hear today.

1. Earn everything.
It’s true that graduates today face a rough economy經濟差. Americans in their early 20s have to contend with必須處理或是應付 a 10.6 percent unemployment rate — that’s twice the rate among people age 25 and up. If still searching for a job, you might envy your classmates whose wealthy or well-connected parents can give them a comfortable life.
That’s a mistake. The best research shows that unearned resources can be toxic for well-being不勞而獲的資源會毒害幸福. One well-known study from Northwestern University tracked lottery winners追蹤樂透獎得主. They found that while winners described hitting the jackpot中頭獎 as a positive event, they were not actually any happier than a control group of non-winners. Furthermore, the windfall came at a cost意外之財有代價: The lottery winners derived significantly less happiness from everyday activities than did ordinary men and women.
What was their problem? It wasn’t the money per se本身Researchers agree that wealth buys less and less happiness beyond middle-class levels中產階級以上的人,財富能買到的快樂越來越少, but nobody finds that more money reduces well-being錢越多會越不快樂. The size of the fortune is not the key variable關鍵的變數; rather, it is whether it is earned. Joseph Schumpeter, the intellectual godfather of modern entrepreneurship當代企業的智慧教父, called money a “secondary consideration次要的考量” and merely “an index of success成功的指標.” And work I have done using data from the Ohio State University shows that people who do not feel responsible for their own successes spend 25 percent more time feeling sad than those who feel they are responsible, even controlling for income.
2. Don’t be a “city doll.”
In his magnificent 1841 essay “Self-Reliance,” Ralph Waldo Emerson scorned 看不起elite college graduates名校的菁英畢業生 — he called them “city dolls” — who wallowed沉溺在 in self-pity if they didn’t immediately land the prestigious job to which they felt entitled自認為應該要(一畢業)就找到一份非常好的工作. Emerson contrasted them with the “sturdy lads堅定的青年” who hailed from remote civilizations — such as New Hampshire.
As Emerson wrote, “A sturdy lad from New Hampshire or Vermont, who in turn tries all the professions, who teams it, farms it, peddles兜售物品, keeps a school, preaches, edits a newspaper, goes to Congress, buys a township, and so forth, in successive years連續幾年, and always like a cat falls on his feet從容面對, is worth a hundred of these city dolls一個「堅定的青年」勝過一百個「精英城市娃兒」.”
Failures, false starts and midcourse corrections are part and parcel of a life well lived失敗、錯誤的起步與中途轉業是美好人生的一部分. Early setbacks may even prove to be a lucrative investment年輕時的失敗,更可能是人生最有價值(獲利)的的投資: A growing business literature shows that failures offer invaluable chances to learn and improve失敗提供了我們最有價值得學習與進步機會. Steven Rogers of Harvard University has written that the average entrepreneur fails almost four times before succeeding.
The Roman philosopher Seneca wrote that “Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body困難強化心智,苦勞鍛鍊身體.” Don’t meet obstacles with victimhood and self-pity. Welcome them, especially early in life, as opportunities to grow in resilience變得更堅韌 and virtue.
3. Fight for people who have less than you.
There is abundant evidence that helping those in need is a powerful secret to happinesshealth, and even material prosperity物質的富足. More important, it is the right thing to do.
In the case of charitable giving就佈施這件事, taking this advice is straightforward: Get out your checkbook (even if you can write only a little check). Examine your conscience each night by asking not what others say about your work, but rather by asking yourself whether you believe your work today benefited those with less than you. Make sure your honest answer is yes.
4. Think for yourself.
For many graduates, life after college feels like the first time your destiny has been entirely in your own hands. Unfortunately, other people will immediately start trying to force you into a new script. Some will measure your worth衡量你的價值 by the money you earn. Others will label you貼你標籤(將你視為) a victim of inequality不公平的受害者 because you earn less than someone else.
Don’t let yourself be defined in these materialistic ways. Measure your life’s value as you see fit以自已的方式去衡量生命的價值. You might choose to feed the hungry, manage a firm, coach a team, or front a band. But whatever the life, boldly live it on your own terms不管你的人生如何,勇敢以自己的方式活出來. Put aside envy and resentment憤慨/怨恨 and pursue happiness.
A sturdy lad “walks abreast with his days與時俱進,” to quote Emerson once more. “He does not postpone his life, but lives already.”
There you have it. Earn everything, fail well, fight for others, and think for yourself. Live already.
And don’t forget to take your car in for inspection.


  1. Hi 教練,畢業後我也是努力的精進自己,因為美國研究所太貴,所以今年選擇了英國愛丁堡大學的一年語言教育(Language Education)碩士,今年準備就讀。但是我真的嚴重懷疑這一個科系是不是為了只是要賺取國際生的錢而設立的學位,因為他2020年才創立... 英國又是留學"產業"大國。我目前正在猶豫是不是要去那邊花這筆錢(24000英鎊),這筆錢值不值得,教練可以給我一點建議嗎?

    1. 其實不只是英國的大學,美國也差不多,多年以來都靠外國學生繳全額學費來賺錢,即便是名校也一樣。因為大家搶著要念,學費節節高升也不讓人意外。諷刺的是,貴的大學不一定好,這是我經常強調的,很多人念的不是名校,學費一樣很貴,拿了那樣的文憑回來台灣找工作,並沒有絕對加分作用。台灣的就業市場重視名校的風氣一直很興盛,所以若非長春藤或公立常春藤名校,對於謀職面試不一定有幫助。如果要念的是second or third tier的學校,進修的策略就應該多面向考量。





      我曾有為了求高分無所不用其極的學生,最後決定跑去菲律賓參加托福營,我當時苦口婆心跟他說,全世界最會教托福的老師都在台灣跟中國,講義也絕對整理得比菲律賓那邊更好。但這學生堅持去那邊可以有全英文環境,我說那個錢不如請個老外每天跟你密集練習口說三小時還比較有用又不用那麼貴。總之那個學生後來還是去了菲律賓,後來的托福口說考試,分數竟然考得比前一 次還要低。最後還是靠著教練題點幫忙、寫作項目進步四分才把總分拉高一點。

      我的email : Ouyang.chloe@yahoo.com(這是我給學生的專屬email)


    2. 謝謝教練神速的回覆,



    3. 這樣決定也好。只要有疑慮就不要行動。多方觀察。或許這一年中還會有別的機會。

  2. 謝謝教練,這篇很讚耶!!果然是教練嚴選

    1. 哈哈是舊文啦,雖是舊文但是很多人可能沒有讀過,還是值得一讀。

  3. 謝謝教練
    這篇有點醒 我現在的困境。
    請問教練,那個郵箱也會收學習者的心情故事嗎?或是人生有困惑的問題都可以問教練嗎? 謝謝😘

    1. 歡迎叮咚寫信給我喔。我是個阿宅婦女,都會回信的。

  4. 教練是最棒的老師

    1. Hi Jane, 感謝你留言給我,我很想念你。希望你一切都好。

  5. 即使30代了還是覺得受用無窮

    from Cloudior

    1. Hi Cloudior看到你留言真高興,超過十年了,好久都沒有見到你了,你的面容在我腦海中已經逐漸模糊.......

    2. 謝謝教練,我持續在板上潛水中~



    3. 謝謝你這麼支持。當初很難想像我竟然可以堅持寫部落格十一年呢哈哈。希望有空我能多更新些內容,幫到大家的忙。




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