托福高分專區：Learn to write better! 下載英文寫作常犯錯誤3，記得這些提點，考試分數會更漂亮！

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六月起，教練的托福單元重出江湖啦！
除了過去受歡迎的托福相關熱門文章，未來每周也會有新的「托福高分單元」上架，歡迎有需要的同學下載分享。

寫作好幫手這個單元，教練透過實際批改的經驗，與大家分享好作文該具備的條件。這些內容課堂上也會講解介紹，沒有來上課的同學，透過檔案下載也能自己閱讀。寫作本身並不難，難在堅持到底。下載教練整理的全新檔案，加上下面的寫作相關講義，慢慢練習一定能寫好。

下載寫作常犯錯誤1請點我

下載寫作常犯錯誤2請點我

下載寫作常犯錯誤3請點我

下載How to write better更新版請點我

下載好作文英文寫作示範請點我

增加How to write better彩色版講義，讓你寫作更得心應手。這份講義將英文作文(與學術型寫作)的基本結構與所需要包含的內容解釋得非常清楚，搭配教練下面提供的五段式作文寫法，你的作文將從此脫胎換骨。

新增41張寫作說明內容

教練教托福寫作一轉眼也邁入第八年了，這些年來批改過幾千份作業，也親自寫過幾百篇的托福獨立題與整合題。有感於來上課的學員對於寫作的架構與內容一直覺得困難，教練這幾天製作了一個檔案，裡面詳細說明了西方人慣用的五大段寫作法The five-paragraph essay. 其實這種寫作方式，在台灣七年級的學生就應該學，但是有些人一直到了大學畢業都還搞不清楚這是怎麼一回事。

中國人寫作重視的是起承轉合，往往把最重要的訊息放在一個段落的最後面才表達出來。我們寫中文的作文時，習慣鋪陳，重視氛圍的醞釀，最好賣個關子最後再解答。但是西方人的寫作方式則是一開始就把重點說出來(Thesis/topic sentence)然後才舉例說明自己的主張。所以光是寫作的方式與態度就完全不同。

就論述性文章argumentative writing而言，教練認為，大家下筆(或是敲鍵盤前)應該要想先清楚自己的論點是什麼，不要且戰且走，因為這樣容易寫偏，論點也可能重複。所以要寫好英文作文，我們要先調整心態，記得不要迂迴前進，瑣碎的訊息要免除，且句子不宜太過冗長。俐落明確的表達才是王道。請大家下載這份檔案，也希望教練提供的訊息對大家有幫助。

教練一直希望能就盡己所能多幫一些人，所以部落格上的檔案都不設密碼，歡迎大家下載，如果你喜歡或是覺得部落格的東西好用，可以多推薦你身邊的朋友、家人與同事來使用。教育是提升一個國家基本競爭力的關鍵，我們一定要好好學習，語文的學習很重要，因為它是開啟所有其他學習可能的第一把鑰匙，所以打好英文基礎，絕對一生受用。

這份檔案中，教練舉了一個ETS絕對不會出的題目，也是教練上課最喜歡討論的兩個主題之一
(一個題目是男生也可以穿裙子，另外一個則是大家都該吃狗肉)透過這種爭議性高的題目，去強化論點的說服力。這篇我主張吃狗肉的作文，將文章的架構與內容透過階段式引導的方式拆解，讓大家一張一張往下看，慢慢就能讀懂，順便瞭解該怎麼寫英文作文。當然裡面的主張不是教練亂寫的，全部都有求證(這也是獨立論述的精神)。

再往下看則是之前受歡迎的托福寫作獨立題文章，也歡迎大家繼續閱讀。

下載此篇pdf檔案請點我

Simple Guidelines to Good Writing

Chapter 3

托福寫作 – 獨立題的紙上演繹

新托福iBT的寫作分成兩個部份，一個是The  Integrated task整合題，顧名思義，這個項目就是要受測者看一段學術性的文章，緊接著聽一段課堂上的講課內容，然後根據演講的內容與先前閱讀所獲得的訊息，整合起來寫一篇文章。閱讀的文章內容，一定會跟演說者的立場打對台，考試就是要考你如何整合兩個截然不同的觀點，然後在規範的時間之內(20分鐘)寫出來。整合題真正的挑戰不只是寫作，因為如果你的聽力很弱，根本聽不太懂講者所說的內容，其實這個項目就不必考了。這也是為什麼，教練的寫作課會上聽力筆記。

新托福寫作項目的另一個考項式是獨立題The  Independent task。教練認為，獨立題其實更難寫，也更能看出真正的寫作實力(跟英文聽力就無關了)。多年來批改過這麼多篇作文，我發覺大家的文章都有一些共同的問題，請看看下面教練所做的分析整理:

1.沒有梗，沒有內容，沒有想法。

這是最嚴重的問題。一開始我以為，大家可能會卡在單字不夠，文法不正確或是句型結構有問題這類的「技術性」問題。後來慢慢發現。當然單字文法這些文題都存在，可是另一個讓我心驚的是，文章沒有想法。所有的觀點指是陳述表面的觀察，完全沒有深刻的洞見。當然我明白，區區幾百個字能有什麼洞見？不過大多數的同學，內容貧瘠到我覺得有點心驚。寫不出什麼東西，有很多原因。可能受制於語文，可能受制於生活歷練或背景。針對這個問題，我開的處方如下：

1. 治標不治本 – 每個題目都要參考一篇範本。看看別人怎麼寫，至少可以學一點起來。
2. 治本之道 – 多閱讀，充實背景知識。看新聞，看雜誌，上網不是打電動，而是去關心地球發生了甚麼事情。這樣的努力需要有耐性才能看出成果，切勿貪快。知識的累積沒有時間表，一點一滴按部就班來，真的會進步。

2.文章的起頭立論(論點段落thesis paragraph)不清楚，結尾草草了事。(頭重腳輕、虎頭蛇尾)

這個問題其實不難更正，也比沒有梗來得好些。只要收看我下面的分析與範例導演，就能一目瞭然。結論不是重複題目，大家別再繼續錯下去了。

3.單字量太少，重複的字詞不斷使用。

如果要講電視對小孩的傷害，大家只會一直寫sex and violence, not good for children. Bad influence這類的字眼，不斷重複。少用英文成語。另外因為有時找不到確切的字眼，造成一直不斷用英文描述一個物件或是情境，讓文章落落長卻打不到重點。

比方說要說年輕人很容易受到外界影響，這樣的描繪就會寫成young people are very easily influenced by the outside world. They will see and do what others do and so they don’t have their own opinions and ideas….這樣一直寫到天長地久，其實上述的解釋，只需要一個關鍵字就解決了。Young people are very impressionable.不會impressionable這個字就得一直繞來繞去。作文的字數雖然不能過少，但是重複的字詞不會讓作文加分。

4.句子太長，捨不得用句號。

寫到後來變成一大段只有一個句號，豆芽菜(逗號)一大堆。典型的run on sentences充斥。

5. 論點離題、答非所問。

題目問你說，有時候人應該學著去做一些自己不喜歡的事情，你同意嗎？
你回答，我十分同意。一開始以這樣的態度破題非常好，只可惜寫到後來，就離題目越來越遠。請看下面這個例子:

I think sometimes we need to do the things we don’t enjoy doing. This is very important, because we need to face challenges. (寫到這邊的時候都還OK，但後面要開始鬼打牆了......)There are many challenges in life. Whether we like them or not, we should face them. We shouldn’t run away from them because they are good for us. For example, I admire Steve Jobs. He had faced many challenges in his life and he managed to overcome some of the life’s most difficult challenges. He didn’t become an iconic figure for no reason. He had turned apple into a world-class brand. I can learn a lot from him…(寫到後來變成在寫賈伯斯有多偉大，離題了)

一開始說：人總是要面對不喜歡的事情，因為人生總有挑戰要面對。將不喜歡的事情當成是挑戰，這樣寫其實不一定妥當，就算要當挑戰，也要說明為何是挑戰？沒交代清楚就天外飛來一筆搞定，緊接著提到賈柏斯(扯有夠遠)，最後讀著讀著我好狐疑，以為這篇文章寫的是The person I admire the most。所以大家要記得，英文是邏輯性的語言，看好題目就要一次到位，千萬別扯東扯西，讓思緒像大樹一樣開枝散葉，這樣只會誤導與製造誤解。

所以到底該怎麼寫才好？請大家一定要先擬定大綱。如果你不會擬大綱，可以參考我提供的大綱參範本。我覺得寫作光是給模板不行，因為大家的問題不在於句型不會用，而是根本不曉得該怎麼處理很多問題，所以經常答非所謂，要不就是隨便亂攪和一番敷衍了事。

 TOEFL Writing Topics

The lists of TOEFL Independent Writing topics below can help you gain a better understanding of the type of essay you could be asked to write on your exam. Rather than give you one long confusing list of topics, the essay topics have been divided into five categories. This is not an exhaustive list, but only a representative sample of essay topics. When practicing for your exam, make sure to write essays from each of the five categories so you will be ready for any kind of essay on exam day.

托福的獨立型寫作題目類型，大致分成下面幾種，每一種都要練習到才行：

 Types of TOEFL Essay Topics

Agree or Disagree 同意或是不同意。

Preference 各人喜好

Description / Explanation描述一件事物或解釋一段經驗

If /Imaginary假設一種狀態去討論/想像自己是…會怎樣

Compare & Contrast比較兩種事物好壞(列舉相似與相異處)

托福的寫作獨立題，很多題型類似托福口說Speaking Task 2，相似度非常高。所以我費心整理了一套托福寫作自修法，希望能幫助同學，提高寫作分數。之前我班上的同學Christine有拿過作文給我改，她是一個很有耐心寫大綱的人，果然去考托福，一次就破百，寫作項目甚至拿了ˇ30分的滿分成績。這讓我更深信，練習大綱是必要的一件事情。另外，每一個題目都要給大家一個範文參考，不能只是丟句型模板出來，讓大家自行拼湊。

以托福寫作考試來說，獨立題The Independent Task只給三十分鐘可以寫一篇三百多字的文章，我知道時間不多，可是請各位還是花五分鐘構思，寫一下大綱，確保自己不是處於一種「且戰且走」play by ear的狀態。You have to know what you’re doing in order to do well.所以寫作很像是打仗，沒有人帶了頭盔披了槍枝就跑上戰場(除非想當砲灰)，一定要先沙盤推演，有個方向，寫起來也踏實許多。

高分托福寫作應具備的條件

1. Develop any topic into a well-organized, logical answer.

    第一點，注意結構，邏輯性要強。多看範文，多練習。這不難。

2. Use synonyms to paraphrase the question

第二點，就是我經常上課耳提面命的請大家不要再依賴英漢字典了，多使用英英字典或是同義字典，這樣才能用不同的字彙去解釋題目。

網路版英英字典與同義字典 http://thesaurus.com/

3. Use a variety of sentence structures & grammatical forms

第三點，用詞遣字與句型多做變化，這樣讀起來流暢又賞心悅目，這並不容易，可是多看多寫多學，一定可以做到。

4. Begin with a simple, strong introduction

這一點我不斷強調，不要囉嗦，一開始就破題，把立場說出來，句子越短越吸睛。前兩周我不斷教大家幫句子瘦身，所以要記得less is more.有些老師給的模板實在太囉嗦了，讓人看了好不耐煩，那樣的模板不用也罷。

5. Create body paragraphs that flow logically

同學一般寫到重點的supporting point這一塊就迷失了。有時候離題，有時候答非所問。如果你有擬定大綱，比較不會發生這種現象。即便詞窮，頂多重複用字，也不至於語無倫次。

6. Develop unity by linking the body paragraphs

連接每一個段落也是大家的弱點，有些文章每一段看起來都各自獨立毫不相干。記得因果關係，每一個看法都會衍生出一定的結果，或是產生必要的聯結，所以這在下筆前就要想好，別隨興亂寫，畢竟我們不是在考現代詩歌。

托福獨立題寫作實戰演練

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:

People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing.

Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

題目來了。這種題目不好寫。該怎麼辦呢？不要急，我們先來擬定大綱。

寫作大綱範例

Introduction:開頭(表明立場)

(表明立場)Agree. 
We need to do things we don’t enjoy doing in order to train or prepare ourselves. 
Necessary – need to face life’s many fronts. It will help us grow and mature, also help our financial and social situations

Body: 這是文章的牛肉arguments(論點)，你要舉例子來說明自己的立場，記得要明確且符合邏輯。

Provide Supporting points立論支撐點

    1. Personally – mature/self-control/keep priorities straight and get good grades. Become stronger, more reliable. 

    E.g.: parents-baby. Students- study.

    2. Socially – can learn to be independent, unselfish, caring for others.

E.g.: participate events, fulfill social roles.

3. Financially – work, fulfill obligations, be committed, save for retirement. E.g.: work to earn money, to support family and communities. Pay taxes.

Conclusion:結論

Life places huge demands. By taking part in various activities, 
(以上是上述觀點的整合)
we get to explore more and live fuller lives
(這是由整合觀點後推出的結論)

全文參考

第一段說明為何選擇同意的立場。第一句超短。破題句越短越好，非常醒目，言簡意賅，更有說服力。第一段在說明選擇做不喜歡的事情有其必要，重點分成三塊，細節會在下面的段落中一一詳述。這種寫法討好，因為結構清楚，讀者會知道what to expect from your essay. 你要討論三個面向，看起來非常豐富，令人期待。

Life is challenging. In order to be happy and successful, we need to prepare ourselves on many fronts. Although participating in enjoyable activities is always desirable, in my view it is also necessary at times to do things we do not enjoy. The bases for my view are personal, social and financial.

以下就是Body (supporting points = arguments)，也就是牛肉的部分。這邊你不囉嗦，先從個人開始(大綱就是這樣寫的)強迫自己做不喜歡的事情，其實不但有必要，也會有學習(有好處)所以你舉兩個例子說明。第一個是新手爸媽照顧小孩，第二個是學生要拒絕玩樂誘惑、強迫自己用功念書。這兩件事情都不是很enjoyable的。

Personally, doing things we don’t care builds character and helps us mature. For instance,(範例1 )when parents have their first baby they are forced to give up their freedom in order to look after the child. There are times when parents barely get enough sleep and still have to get up and go to work in the morning. (範例二)Similarly, when students are in school and university, they need to spend a lot of time studying. In spite of being tempted to go out with friends and attend parties, those who have self-control and keep their priorities straight are the ones who get high grades. Through such life experiences people become stronger, wiser and more responsible.最後變成負責任且聰明的強者

接下來從社交的角度來看。這個社會有很多義務要去履行，有些我們不喜歡，膽是不喜歡也得做。每個人扮演的社會角色不同。為了別人去參加活動，讓我們學習為人付出。學習分享與無私。

Next, from a social perspective, we live in an interdependent world which imposes its obligations on us. Each person belongs to diverse social groups and plays various social roles. Each of us has to attend birthday parties, weddings and funerals to show we care about our fellow human beings. Participating in events for the sake of others teaches us to go beyond our own selfish needs and to share in the joys and sorrows of others.

第三點提到的是理財。花錢很爽，但是工作與儲蓄不是什麼享受。從小我講到大我。賺錢繳稅讓社會得以維持下去。沒人愛上班，但工作讓我們賺足夠的錢生活，這是我們應盡的義務，也是提早為退休做打算。

Financially-speaking, people need to work - and spend - to keep the local, national and international economy growing. We need to support our own family in particular and our community in general. In fact, most of us work many more hours than we would like to work. What propels us to continue working is our financial needs, commitments, and obligations. Only in this way are we able to live comfortable lifestyles and save for our retirement days.

最後一段是結論，說明人生在世本來就有很多使命，很多事情不是我們喜歡的。可是透過從事這些事情，可以發掘生命的可能，找到自己的特質，讓生命更完整。結論完全沒有重複到前面用過的單字與論點。這一段結論說明了從事not so enjoyable的事情有其reward.

Clearly, life places huge demands on us, and some can be rather unpleasant. But unpleasant things do have their rewards, by participating in a wide variety of activities and dive into the things we don’t enjoy, we get to explore life’s deeper issues and discover more about our unique selves. It is often these obligations that make our lives fuller and more complete.

全文五個段落，典型的英美五段式作文法，請大家參考

下面是完整不打擾版

Thesis Paragraph觀點段落(直接說立場別囉嗦)

Life is challenging. In order to be happy and successful, we need to prepare ourselves on many fronts. Although participating in enjoyable activities is always desirable, in my view it is also necessary at times to do things we do not enjoy. The bases for my view are personal, social and financial.

Body (Supporting point/argument 1) 通常最好的點子放在這一段講

Personally, doing things we don’t care builds character and helps us mature. For instance, when parents have their first baby they are forced to give up their freedom in order to look after the child. There are times when parents barely get enough sleep and still have to get up and go to work in the morning Similarly, when students are in school and university, they need to spend a lot of time studying. In spite of being tempted to go out with friends and attend parties, those who have self-control and keep their priorities straight are the ones who get high grades. Through such life experiences people become stronger, wiser and more responsible.

Body (Supporting point/argument 2) 第二個點子不要跟第一段的內容重複

Next, from a social perspective, we live in an interdependent world which imposes its obligations on us. Each person belongs to diverse social groups and plays various social roles. Each of us has to attend birthday parties, weddings and funerals to show we care about our fellow human beings. Participating in events for the sake of others teaches us to go beyond our own selfish needs and to share in the joys and sorrows of others.

Body (Supporting point/argument 3) 第三段有人喜歡用反證法，但我不愛所以不用
Financially-speaking, people need to work - and spend - to keep the local, national and international economy growing. We need to support our own family in particular and our community in general. In fact, most of us work many more hours than we would like to work. What propels us to continue working is our financial needs, commitments and obligations. Only in this way are we able to live comfortable lifestyles and save for our retirement days.

Conclusion 結論 (注意，結論不是拿第一段的內容來再抄一遍喔)

Clearly, life places huge demands on us, and some can be rather unpleasant. But unpleasant things do have their rewards, by participating in a wide variety of activities and dive into the things we don’t enjoy, we get to explore life’s deeper issues and discover more about our unique selves. It is often these obligations that make our lives fuller and more complete.